The blog post on "Immigration Bill May Open Door for Millions" by Melvin Durai (link) is both topical and funny.
Question: I work at a flower shop, cutting stems of roses and other flowers. I heard that the new immigration bill will offer green cards to workers in stem fields. It sounds too good to be true. Is it? — Maria, Los Angeles.
Answer: The immigration bill does make it easier for STEM workers to get green cards, but STEM stands for science, technology, engineering and mathematics. Do you count the stems after you cut them? If so, you may qualify under ‘mathematics.’ Do you have an advanced stem degree? If not, I’d advise you to acquire one right away. You may do so at our affiliated website HelloPhD.com. Act quickly. For a limited time, all degrees are ‘buy one, get one free.’
Q: I have been illegal since 1992, when I came from Guatemala. My friend says the immigration bill will allow me to become a citizen in 13 years. So I want to ask you this: why did they pick an unlucky number like 13? Why not 12 or 11? I am afraid that after 13 years, they will say, “April Fool! This is just a joke. Now go back to where you came from.” — Manuel, Chicago.
A: I wish I could tell you why they picked the number 13. Maybe the Democrats wanted 6 and the Republicans wanted 20, so they compromised at 13. But if you don’t like the number 13, do you want them to postpone the immigration bill until 2014? I didn’t think so.
Q: I am in America for last 8 years. I am hear that to become citizen I needing to pass English test and Civic test. Can I take Civic test on any Honda Civic or do I needing my own? — Hideo, New York City.
A: It is actually a Civics test, not a Civic test. That means you need to take the test on two different Honda Civics. One should be automatic, the other manual or stick shift. The government wants to make sure that all immigrants can drive safely in Japanese cars.
Melvin Durai is an Illinois-based humorist and writer. His first novel “Bala Takes the Plunge” was published in 2010. He hopes to complete his second novel this month. Read more of his humor at http://www.Nshima.com.
Question: I work at a flower shop, cutting stems of roses and other flowers. I heard that the new immigration bill will offer green cards to workers in stem fields. It sounds too good to be true. Is it? — Maria, Los Angeles.
Answer: The immigration bill does make it easier for STEM workers to get green cards, but STEM stands for science, technology, engineering and mathematics. Do you count the stems after you cut them? If so, you may qualify under ‘mathematics.’ Do you have an advanced stem degree? If not, I’d advise you to acquire one right away. You may do so at our affiliated website HelloPhD.com. Act quickly. For a limited time, all degrees are ‘buy one, get one free.’
Q: I have been illegal since 1992, when I came from Guatemala. My friend says the immigration bill will allow me to become a citizen in 13 years. So I want to ask you this: why did they pick an unlucky number like 13? Why not 12 or 11? I am afraid that after 13 years, they will say, “April Fool! This is just a joke. Now go back to where you came from.” — Manuel, Chicago.
A: I wish I could tell you why they picked the number 13. Maybe the Democrats wanted 6 and the Republicans wanted 20, so they compromised at 13. But if you don’t like the number 13, do you want them to postpone the immigration bill until 2014? I didn’t think so.
Q: I am in America for last 8 years. I am hear that to become citizen I needing to pass English test and Civic test. Can I take Civic test on any Honda Civic or do I needing my own? — Hideo, New York City.
A: It is actually a Civics test, not a Civic test. That means you need to take the test on two different Honda Civics. One should be automatic, the other manual or stick shift. The government wants to make sure that all immigrants can drive safely in Japanese cars.
Melvin Durai is an Illinois-based humorist and writer. His first novel “Bala Takes the Plunge” was published in 2010. He hopes to complete his second novel this month. Read more of his humor at http://www.Nshima.com.
